It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean” – Top peak performance coach, Tony Robbins
In any given instance you are fully in control of your reactions. Things occur in your day-to-day life, however it is up to you how you use your mind to rationalize the events that occur and to associate meaning to them.
A great example that I like to use and is so relevant during these warm summer months is related to delays on the transport systems. You are riding the tube in London on a hot summer day when the train suddenly comes to a halt. From overhead you hear the train conductor: “We are being held at a red signal. We should be moving shortly. Apologies for the inconvenience.”
Now in that instance you look around and see someone complaining, visibly getting more emotionally triggered by every passing second. This person is angry, red in the face, annoyed, fuming. He exclaims: “Why always me? I’m going to be late! Fucking public transport system!!”
On the very same tube, same situation, same context, another person stands silently. This person is reading a book, a composed smile on their face. This person is at peace, realizing that the train will eventually move again. This is an opportunity to make progress in the book that they are reading – what luck! The person may be running a bit late but realizes that their friend will understand. This person also realizes that had they left 15 minutes earlier there would be no issue at all. A mental note is made to leave a little earlier next time.
How is it that two different people can both witness exactly the same situation and are able to react in such contradictory manners? How is it that one finds a resourceful state and finds opportunity from this “bad luck” while the other just reacts and gets frustrated?
My answer: What you focus on creates your reality. You can only control the controllable. In any given situation you decide how to react. In this example there is on essential fact that is out of anyone’s control: the train is stopped and will not move in the present moment. In this situation and in most life circumstances (omitting extreme cases of course) if you start looking for the positive you will start finding more positive.
We live in a society whereby people tend to take the good things that happen in their life and lucky circumstances for granted. They minimize the good. On the flip side, they focus on and find all the negative situations that seem to happen to them. Knowing that you would rather be happy than sad, does it not make more sense to focus on all the great things that are happening to you and downplay any misfortunes that head your way?
Have you considered your mindset? Are you empowering your reality?
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